Funny Jokes - Never trust an old lady speeding down the road.
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A police officer sees an old lady speeding down the road and pulls her over. He exits his car and walks up to the old woman's window.
"Do you realize how fast you were going?"
"No." She answers, looking forward, making no eye contact.
"Twice the speed limit! Ma'am, can I see your license and registration?"
"I can't give you my license," she answers.
"I don't have a license"
"What about your registration, ma'am?"
"I can't give you that, either." she responds, still looking forward.
"Well, why not?"
"This isn't my car, I stole it."
Confused now, the cop asks "Do know who owned this vehicle? Where did you steal it from?"
"I got it from the man I ."
Confusion now turning to caution he asks, "And where is the man you ?"
"I chopped him up and placed his body in the trunk."
Stunned and worried, the cop places his hand on his holster and cautiously says to the old woman, "Stay in the vehicle with your hands in view." The cop then proceeds to call for back up.
Ten minutes later 5 police cars show up and the cop speaks to his senior officer.
The senior officer walks up to the woman's window with his hand on his firearm and demands: "Ma'am, step out of the vehicle with your hands where I can see them!"
The woman complies without hesitation.
"Ma'am, do you have your license and registration?"
"Sure do! They're right here," she says as she pulls them out of her purse and hands them to the senior officer.
Confused, the senior officer continues, "Ma'am, can you open your trunk for me?"
"Sure I can!" She walks over to the trunk and opens it. There's nothing in there.
The senior officer steps back, perplexed.
After a minute he finally speaks, "Ma'am, I'm confused...My officer told me that you didn't have a license, this car was stolen, AND you had a in the trunk..."
With a scoff she replied, "I bet that liar said I was speeding, too!"
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